Saturday, November 4, 2017

How to Stop Giving a **** About Things That Don't Matter

If you easily get worked up over little things, your over-reaction probably makes you look like a drama queen (or drama king). Not just that, do it enough and you come across as irrational and whiny. Taking offense easily is a sign of a fragile ego, low self-esteem and need for perfection.

Now, since you're the cause of your own feelings, you have the power to change your response. Look at it this way. Not only will you be able to learn from criticism, you'll also be able to better manage your problems that currently feel overwhelming.

  • Don't take things personally. No one has "Piss Matt off" on their to-do list.

  • Avoid assuming facts until outright stated. Many a time the stories we tell ourselves about other people's motives is far from the truth. Clarify issues upfront to circumvent such misunderstandings.

  • Choose what you're going to get worked up about. It could be something as small as a bad haircut or something as big as a heartbreak. In his book, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, Mark Manson advises, " To not give a **** about adversity, you must first give a **** about something more important than adversity". 

  • Respect other's freedom of speech. Taking offense to expression of opinion is a danger to society since it suppresses views.  Accept others as they are to be accepted as you are. Let people be themselves. 

  • Consider the source of criticism. Does it have a history of being unfair? Does it have a history of being right?  Consider that the other person could be correct. It will make you see things from their point of view and give you new perspective. 

  • Make peace with imperfection. Be okay with being uncomfortable. Don't feel entitled to a perfect exchange of thoughts. In the absence of judgment everything will be fine.

  • Ask yourself why you're offended. Maybe you don't want to know the truth about yourself. 

  • Build your self esteem. Why is people pleasing and external validation so important to you? What you're doing by doing this is handing over your power to the other person. None of us really know what we're doing. Be okay with rejection. Understand peer pressure for what it is. 

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