How to Stop Giving a **** About Things That Don't Matter

If you easily get worked up over little things, your over-reaction probably makes you look like a drama queen (or drama king). Not just that, do it enough and you come across as irrational and whiny. Taking offense easily is a sign of a fragile ego, low self-esteem and need for perfection.

Now, since you're the cause of your own feelings, you have the power to change your response. Look at it this way. Not only will you be able to learn from criticism, you'll also be able to better manage your problems that currently feel overwhelming.

• Don't take things personally. No one has "Piss Matt off" on their to-do list.

• Avoid assuming facts until outright stated. Many a time the stories we tell ourselves about other people's motives is far from the truth. Clarify issues upfront to circumvent such misunderstandings.

• Choose what you're going to get worked up about. It could be something as small as a bad haircut or something as big as a heartbreak. In his book, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, Mark Manson advises, " To not give a **** about adversity, you must first give a **** about something more important than adversity". 

• Respect other's freedom of speech. Taking offense to expression of opinion is a danger to society since it suppresses views.  Accept others as they are to be accepted as you are. Let people be themselves. 

• Consider the source of criticism. Does it have a history of being unfair? Does it have a history of being right?  Consider that the other person could be correct. It will make you see things from their point of view and give you new perspective. 

• Make peace with imperfection. Be okay with being uncomfortable. Don't feel entitled to a perfect exchange of thoughts. In the absence of judgment everything will be fine.

• Ask yourself why you're offended. Maybe you don't want to know the truth about yourself. 

• Build your self esteem. Why is people pleasing and external validation so important to you? What you're doing by doing this is handing over your power to the other person. None of us really know what we're doing. Be okay with rejection. Understand peer pressure for what it is. 

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Behind Every Successful Woman is Sometimes a Man

You get a hint of the humorous and witty tone the talk is about to adopt when the presentation slides start running with a 'Stauary' warning to the audience that the speaker, Arunachalam Muruganatham lacks English speaking skills and that he's a school dropout. You immediately get an idea of his familiarity with technology when he advises you, the educated audience, to forget the right-click option we use on our computers to change pronunciation and tense for the moment and understand the real meat of the matter.

The inspiring TEDxGateway Mumbai talk - 

Franklin Templeton Investments partnered the TEDxGateway Mumbai in December 2012

The talk is about sanitary pads. Guys, don't be grossed out. There are important lessons to be learnt here. For instance, this man's journey to discovering a low-cost sanitary napkin that would help balance his (and others') household budget and his unflinching approach right from the outset, not worrying what this or that person may say - a very rare quality. He never lost hope or faltered despite facing opposition from society because his goal was so clear in his mind. He seems to have learned along the way that the 'Teee & Eeee Method' always works. What's that, you ask? It's plain ol trial and error which he attributes to his ability to today rub shoulders with Johnson & Johnson and other biggies such as Proctor & Gamble.

The 3 biggest lessons to take away from this TED talk:

1. Don't be intimidated by the so-called educated elite and the jargon they employ. Lack of education need not hold you back. 
2. If you flow against the stream, you will face obstacles, especially from parts of society that's not used to change. Change is good.
3. Don't chase money to lead a meaningful life. All you need is a problem that needs solving and a solution that you come up with, mostly as you go along. 

Read up at Wikipedia about Arunachalam, the founder of Jayashree Industries which markets cost-effective sanitary pad manufacturing machines to rural women all over India and provides them with employment. This man has a soft spot for women, can't you tell? :)

Here's looking forward to a day when commercially sold pads will be available in our cities as single pieces the way the rural staff of Jayashree Industries are instructed to sell them, if need be.

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10 Reasons Why They're Staring at You

Scopophobia – That's the fear of being stared at by others. At times, it's obvious why you're being looked at and then there are those times you're left scratching your head, wondering whether it was just your overactive imagination leading you to think that people are eyeballing you. I, for one, wonder if I'm being pranked on a Just for Laughs Gags kind of show. When I'm at a mall especially. Here are some other possible reasons.

1. They think you're odd. 
2. They're people-watching.
3. You have an interesting/awe-inspiring/beautiful face. You're probably going to be approached for your number soon if they're brave enough – either for a date or a modelling op. One can dream, right? 
4. You have an interesting life & they want to emulate it by following your every move.
5. They caught you looking at them (& want to stroke their ego by not backing down from the 'challenge' of a stare down).
6. You're just being overly self-conscious. They may be looking in your general direction. People are mostly indifferent to one another going about their day, getting their work done.
7. They want to be friends with you. It's human nature to want to reach out and connect with others.
8. They're so deep in thought that they didn't even realise they're looking at you.
9. You've been stereotyped – because of your style, expression, appearance, etc. 
10. They see you as a potential threat, because you're not very "friendly". (RBF, anyone?) i.e. your body language is negative.

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What Makes You Happy

Apparently friendships, altruism and religious practices. Time Magazine did a piece on the science of happiness way back in 2005 and what it had to say remains relevant.

Cracked followed suit and had a go at the topic, telling you about the things that you think make you happy but actually don't. And for those of you dreading that porn would be on that list, be rest assured, it's not. Though I wish it would. It's really tough to read a sex crime report and not find out sooner or later that the criminal was addicted to spank. On the list of 5 are Fame, Wealth, Beauty, Genius and Power.


I scoured the internet to find out if this was true and voila: the results.

What makes people universally happy:

• Grandkids
• Cooking for the less fortunate
• Having a significant other cook for you
• Music - a good song
• Your dog
• Making someone else happy
• The company of good friends
• Finishing what you start especially if comes to you effortlessly
• Curling up in bed with good movies books
• Day dreaming
• A good massage
• Smiles
• Watching friends/family kid around
• Giving time, talent, councel
• Unconditional love
• Freshly washed sheets
• Cuddling
• Grooming those you love
• Singing
• Checking off boxes on to-do lists
• Getting your paycheck
• Good exercise
• Dancing
• Cooking healthy meals
• The hope that everything will be alright 

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