Things You Should and Should Not Do When You Have Depression

As someone who has survived depression, I thought I'd write this post to help other people silently suffering from this affliction. Today I'm going to talk about things you should and should not do when you have depression.

Let's start with things you should NOT do.

1. Do NOT think you're a burden - When you're in your own head all the time you constantly wonder what other people think of you. Truth is people are so bothered about themselves that they have no time to think about you. In fact, they can't even form an opinion of you without your help. People mirror your opinion of what you think of yourself so be careful what you think about yourself. If you think you're stupid and clumsy, guess what others will think? That's right. They'll think you're stupid and clumsy as well.
2. Do NOT isolate yourself - Doing this encourages negative thoughts, which is the last thing you need right now. And you will be thinking a lot of negative thoughts in such a state of mind because you feel gloomy. Speak to someone who you know will listen to what you have to say without judgement.
3. Do NOT think that you don't have it as bad as other people and avoid comparing emotions. Someone will always be better off or worse off than you. You never know what's going on behind the scenes. Don't judge people by their highlight reels. And definitely ignore people who say that others have it way worse than you, be grateful, etc.
4. Do NOT let others project their insecurities on you - By allowing this you are allowing attacks on your already plunging self-image and self-esteem. You can prevent this by being protective of your own energies and focus.

Now let's talk about things you SHOULD do:

1. Seek professional help - This will help build better self confidence in yourself, build a positive outlook on life and help you understand the root cause of your depression. 
2. Give in to your need for connection - get in touch with old friends. Call or message - either works. Then depending on your availability you can even decide to meet. 
3. Create a ritual that grounds you - for instance, getting together with friends to just talk on a Friday night every week or every month. Never underestimate the power of a ritual.
4. Think at least one positive thought a day - Check out the 1000 awesome things blog. Each post gives you a dose of positivity. 
5. Plant a seed of hope in your mind - I know it's tough to look at the bright side at the moment but you can look towards others to remind you of the beautiful things in the world. Gratitude podcasts such as Happiness Spells, which you'll even find on twitter, are of major help. You can write each point of gratitude mentioned in the podcast in a gratitude journal until you feel you can come up with your own points. Another thing you can do is fill a clean empty jar with chits on which you write what you're grateful for each day of the year and pull one out every time you're feeling down. I saw this idea on Pinterest and seeing it's popularity I'm sure it works.

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Kickboxing for Fitness

I took a kickboxing class recently that lasted all of 3 days. It was surprisingly quick to pick up and worked up quite a sweat - just learning how to kick correctly - which is always welcome because it means I'm pushing my body to its limit.

Any kind of movement is key to a healthy mind and body. Ask me, I spend hours in front of a computer because it brings home the money, though I'm not exactly cheering how long I'm seated. Work can get engrossing, and one hour follows the next and before you know it, you've been hunched over for more than 2 hours. Our body gets sluggish and reflexes slow down. This is where a fitness routine, such as kickboxing, comes to our rescue.

The sessions made me feel amazing even hours after I got home

At one point, my instructor got chains bundled around my wrists and made me practice punching the air 100 times. Nope, that wasn't a typo. It was tiresome, but I learnt how to throw a punch while being able to control its intensity. Self defence and fitness rolled into one. How about that? 

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The Easiest Way to Tone your Belly

Quite unsure how or when it happened but I'm now (and have been for some time now) in possession of a pot belly. Of course I've known about it for a while but always made some cute excuse for it, and nicknamed it my belly dancer belly. Luckily I can still make it disappear by sucking the fat in. The downside is the discomfort because of which it doesn't work for long. Apparently though that's a good habit to have, several times a day.

Sucking in your belly to the point of flexing for 3-5 seconds at a time works like exercise if the rest of your body is in the correct posture (I let a mirror be my guide. If your body looks unnatural, you're doing it wrong.). I've tried this and it actually works over time. The 'workout' activates your Transversus abdominis muscle also known as the 'corset muscle'. If you have an insane amount of fat to lose, a more intensive exercise program like Insanity is recommended.

So now that you know, go do it...regularly, if you want to see results.  

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Fall Asleep Before 2 a.m.

In a world fraught with information overload, it's hard to fall asleep when you fear missing out on that juicy piece of gossip or latest news, maybe you're worried that a competitor might be outselling you while you were in bed getting some shut-eye. The operating term here is "worry".

You may want to take the help of meditation to observe silently the thoughts in your head. When you do, you'll realise just how much useless chatter is in there. Your emotions define the number of thoughts in your head but on average we think about 70,000 thoughts a day. That's about 48 thoughts per minute!

Remember that worrying doesn't solve anything. If you're actually focusing on the problem to come up with a solution, it's best to just stop thinking about it for a few hours. When you wake up the resolution of your issue will present itself. You'll know because you're thinking straight and aware of your thoughts.

TIPS

• Eat by 9 p.m. Food takes time to digest and if it's not yet digested all that effort by your body to break down the food in your system is going to make itself conspicuous and have you tossing and turning and even waking up. 
• Have a plan for the next day. If you have a reason to get out of bed in the morning you'll get yourself to sleep earlier. 
• Stop seeing the time. If you're used to sleeping at 2 a.m. you might tell yourself "Oh well, I still have 2 hours to fall asleep, might as well do something." What you're doing is giving up already. It takes 21 days to make or break a habit, hang in there.
• Stay up until you're actually sleepy. If it takes more than 10 minutes to nod off, wake up. Watch T.V. but yeah avoid any activity that encourages you to think.
• Set up your alarm away from you on loud but pleasant music. You don't want to spend the rest of the day being crabby.

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When You're Down Avoid...

...doing these things. Expecting a miracle or a friend to cheer you up is way out there when all you really need to do is get out of your own way. You have hoards of articles telling you what to do when you're depressed. You're about to read what not to do, which should come easier to you considering how little you want to do when you've got the blues. Read on...

Idolizing the Media

Don't watch the news, especially first thing in the morning. Channels have a way of drawing you into the emotional miasma they're trying to stir up. Reading the newspaper is comparatively tame, considering that you can block out potentially disturbing news that will do nothing to keep you up-to-date on current affairs and events.

Avoid watching disturbing programmes

That counts for anything that's emotionally disturbing. At least at this time, when the last thing you need is some singer imploring you to join them in their sadness and buy more of their music because you can really empathize with the singer. Sad songs, sad serials, sad movies, sad videos...you can watch those later when you're your upbeat self and you know you can handle them without getting reduced to a puddle. Replace with media that kindles hope within you, songs that make you feel special and the like.

Reliving the Past

You may have in the past written down about the horrid times in your life that really tested you. Re-reading those journal entries will only make those times come flooding back to you through memories and plant you firmly back in the same state of mind that you were in those difficult times.

Unless it's something like this. Via Funny Diary Entries

 

Mingling with Dirty, Rotten, Scoundrels

Keep away from persons you know are only out to make themselves look good at your cost. If possible, be ready with comebacks.

Nourishing the Pain

Don't feed the pain. Observe it. You're not your feelings so don't identify with them so much that you forget that they're just feelings. Someone wise on the internet once said "Feelings are like waves. We can't stop them from coming but we can choose which ones to surf".

Dressing Down. Every Day

The better you dress, the more pride you'll have in yourself & the less dependent you'll be on others for compliments to make you feel good. If you win over the person who's the most important in making you look good - yourself - you're good to go. Others tend to believe your view of yourself since they have so little time & patience to intricately observe you & make positive judgments.

Though, beware of advertisements riding on taglines such as 'cutting edge' fashion.

Self-Pity

Five words: Don't give in to it.

Becoming an Island

There's nothing like pushing people away and being by yourself all the time to bring on overthinking.

Taking it Personally

Don't take it personally. You're only human, you have your flaws and so do other people. Learn how to react to their negative behaviour - be it anger, put-downs, jealousy, offended, offensive or  implications. Ultimately, we have no control over others' behaviors. By internalizing this, you've put the overbearing/inappropriate person on a pedestal. You really want to do that?

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